By Crunked
Published: February 28, 2007 PrintEmail
Guilty until proven innocent
This week we start to examine 2007 by drawing some inferences from 2006. Addition by subtraction if you will. Teams develop tendencies some need to break with tradition, others need to keep on keeping on. I was reading an article the other day and an ad in the local paper sparked my desire to disect things in this way. The ad read "Learn Self Defense" and I thought man is that the truth, how many teams in the NFL seem to be their own worst enemy? There are teams that if it were not for themselves could be quite formidable on the football field. There are many ways to unravel your own sanity in life, this is true for the NFL franchise. We will touch on just a few of them, because really EVERY team has something they do that works against them.
Opening salvo's:
Think about it, how many teams could you name that could learn some "SELF" defense? There are tons to me, in no particular order:Chicago, Minnesota, San Diego, Arizona, Cincinnati, N.Y. Giants, Dallas, Detroit, Jacksonville, Texans, Oakland. That is just a handful, I had to stop myself because every time I thought, eh, that's good enough I thought of another.
They said it....
"Jones was showering more than 40 strippers onstage early Monday with cash "intended as a visual effect," a search warrant said."-Ap Story
Breaking fabrication:
The new Commish announced today that the NFL will honor its bad boys by creating the All idiot team, honorary team captains have yet to be named, but some of the names that are being thrown around are, Rae Carruth, Lawerence Phillips, and Adam Pac-Man Jones.
Outlawed phrases of the week:
"Visual effect"
" I had nothing to do with the incident"
"no comment"
Heart of the Matter:
Look, most of you are waiting to hear the obvious here, and they should be mentioned but I am not going to waste alot of effort on the obvious. So lets get that stuff out of the way now.Matt "do we need at wide out" Millen, Dominic "Drinking" Rhodes, Michael "Special water Bottle Vick", Tank "Bang bang" Johnson, The Cincinnati "all thuggin'" Bengals. There I mentioned them, and they certainly fit the mold of this story but they have been covered nationally quite adequately lets look at the not so obvious "DEFENSELESS".
Arizona: The penny Pinching owner-Learn self defense
Probably the poster child for being in need of Self Defense, they are the Bermuda triangle of talent in the NFL, someday that has to change right? What is the problem out there? Me thinks me smells a rotting owner.
Chicago: Can I say ditto, hey trip through a field of dollars to pick up a dime Chicago owner-Learn self defense
Would somebody pull themselves out of the "drunken we lost" stupor and give Lovie his well deserved pay-day, he is only lacking a walk across lake Michigan, and healing a couple lepers to hit for the miracle cycle.
N.Y. Giants: Tom Coughlin-Learn Self defense
Tom Coughlin, hey nimrod, these guys aren't like the guys of the 60's where you had to find, sober up, and condition the heck out of your players to get them ready for the season. The modern NFL player is a year round athelete, and one additional ounce of body fat can cost him six figures of salary or greater. They are conditioned, running them all season in pads won't condition them more, coach them, let the trainer worry about conditioning.
Texans: The Owner-Learn self defense
Now that they have a Carr on the market I can make it official because I have had high hopes for this team for about three years now. They are all idiots in Houston, your problem was defense, you addressed the defense, then changed it the next year, then changed personel, now you have changed staff again, if they suck that is your fault hold still for a damn minute. Back to the Carr they have on the market, hey he isnt the franchise guy we hoped for, never mind we wont, and I mean WONT put a line in front of the guy, heck at this point when the beer vendor pops a tab in the stands Carr flinches, no one is going to mean crap if they can't remain standing long enough.
Oakland: Al Davis-Learn self defense
Someone actually made a defense out there, and with a wholesale change of personel on offense they will come around, but come on they have done everything they can to slow the rebuild process as much as possible and I blame Al (Looney Toons-poster boy for senility) Davis.
Jacksonville: Jack Del Rio Learn self defense
The best "Win one for the gipper" coach, you have talent, you have proven you can motivate your team, you are inconsistent because you are not much of a strategist you have talent you have emotion you just dont have the ability to coach a win consistently.
Dallas: J.J.-Learn self defense
Hey Jerry you want to get back to your winning ways? Be the owner and get the heck off the sidelines, your misguided guiding is the reason you can't get back to being "America's Team". Man I hate that, they were never my America's team,.........
(SIDE BAR)
There are many, many more teams I could list, believe me, just about every single one if I wanted to, but I wanted to get the first class full of sign-ups we are free as fans to offer a second or third class if and when necessary.
Crunked Says:
"Criminals and idiots are in every walk of life, so take this small sampling for what its worth."
The best-the worst-the ugliest of the week
Best
All the atheletes that for whatever their reason won't participate in the NFL combine, is that an indicator of the next generation of bad boy, or am I stretching it a bit?
Worst
The Bronco's losing another player. Damien Nash 24 collapsed after a charity basketball game in St. Louis, is it just me or does the NFL seem to have a lot of tragedy surrounding it anymore?
Ugliest Pac Man, AKA Adam Jones, this guy is the poster child for GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT. Lets give him the upper bunk in Clarretts cell now, and forgo waiting for the offical act that warrants him being put there....Oooops, too late.
This week we start to examine 2007 by drawing some inferences from 2006. Addition by subtraction if you will. Teams develop tendencies some need to break with tradition, others need to keep on keeping on. I was reading an article the other day and an ad in the local paper sparked my desire to disect things in this way. The ad read "Learn Self Defense" and I thought man is that the truth, how many teams in the NFL seem to be their own worst enemy? There are teams that if it were not for themselves could be quite formidable on the football field. There are many ways to unravel your own sanity in life, this is true for the NFL franchise. We will touch on just a few of them, because really EVERY team has something they do that works against them.
Pac Man, AKA Adam Jones, this guy is the poster child for GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT. Lets give him the upper bunk in Clarretts cell now, and forgo waiting for the offical act that warrants him being put there....Oooops, too late.