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By jjflr
Published: February 18, 2008
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Anyone else having withdrawals yet?  The Pro Bowl was merely a small fix to help ease us down after the crescendo of a great season ostensibly ended in Arizona with what some are calling the greatest upset in Super Bowl history.


Where do we go from here?  Never fear.  Free agency kicks off soon.  Draft talk will continue to surge for the next couple of months, and then, before we know it, training camps will begin.


And, of course, in the meantime, there will be a flurry of predictions for next season.  What better time to look ahead to the 2008 season than right now?  Well, actually, it would make more sense to wait until the dust of the off-season has settled and the rosters are finalized prior to making predictions ………………. But, then again, where’s the fun in that ……….. ?


Early Predictions for 2008:


1) $100 million for Asante Samuel?  Bah!  The Jets laugh in the face of merely breaking the 9-figure barrier for Samuel.  They decide to SHATTER it, giving Samuel an A-Rod-sized $250 million contract.  The deal also includes naming rights for the new stadium.  However, ‘Asante Samuel Stadium’ doesn’t appeal to the Giants, and the deal is scrapped.  Samuel ends up playing for the Browns.


2) Congress, in their infinite wisdom and extraordinary ability to waste taxpayers’ money, determines that the NFL is incapable of running itself any longer and turns it into another government agency.  First order of business ……… re-hire all of the fired FEMA employees to take over the NFL operations.  Player complaints during the season focus around a lack of bottled water on the sidelines.


3) What’s the big deal about 16-0?  After waiting decades for a team to finish 16-0 in the regular season, it becomes par for the course, with 5 teams finishing 16-0 in 2008.  Concerned with the sudden lack of ‘parity’ in the league, league officials investigate, and, yes, it is determined that ALL 5 teams have video cameras.  Asterisks are placed next to each of the 5 teams in the record books.



4)      The winner of the regular season game in England once again wins the Super Bowl, inspiring conspiracy theories of many varieties.  However, the truth is discovered shortly after the season.  In his frantic desire to make Europeans love the NFL, Roger Goodell ‘arranged’ for the British fans to witness the eventual Super Bowl winner on their own soil to feel a closer connection with the league.  After the discovery, Goodell panics and immediately goes ahead with his ultimate plan of moving the entire league across the pond.  2009 proves to be a banner year for the league, with the Madrid Colts defeating the Liverpool Eagles in the Super Bowl, although only 300 people attended the game. 

5) In desperation for their elusive Super Bowl title, the Vikings take a chance on the only Manning son not playing professional football.  The Vikings sign Cooper “The Duke” Manning, age 34, and name him their starting QB, even though he has never played the position at any level.  The Vikings finish 0-16 even though All Day runs for 2500 yards.  ‘The Duke’ fails to complete a pass all year.

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